@ The Weather on Sunday… YOU. WERE. PERFECT. Can we have you back again for next year’s race? Can we bottle you up and take you to other races as need be?

@ P.F. Chang’s Race Organizers – I found the process of parking in Tempe and taking the light rail down to the start line to be silky, buttery smooth. I found parking in the Orange garage with no problem, walked to the station with no issue and once aboard had a comfortable ride with my fellow racers to downtown Phoenix.  But something obviously broke down as the race start had to be delayed due to traffic. It’s hoped these details can be ironed out so that the light rail solution can continue to be used.  

@ Myself – I was nervous right before the race. At the time I didn’t know why. But upon reflection I think I’ve figured it out… Whenever I’ve done a FULL marathon for P.F. Chang’s I always had encountered some disaster. I think that was my secret fear. But on that note…

@ My legs/body – Thank you for such a great race! I made a deal with you – get me across the finish line with no major tragedies and I would take it easy on you during the race… You really pulled through for me and I did MUCH better than I expected and I was actually able to cross the finish line with a smile and not a grimace of pain.

@ The two guys in Baltimore Ravens gear who I saw walking before mile 1… WHAT. No seriously, WHAT. I looked at your bib # and you were in corral 2 and YOU WERE WALKING BEFORE EVEN REACHING MILE 1! DO YOU REALIZE HOW LONG A MARATHON IS?! Why did you put yourselves in corral #2? And for those who are asking, this was not a deliberate run-walk strategy… This was an obvious I’m tired, hands-on-the-hip walk… BEFORE MILE 1. I will say that I saw one of the Ravens just starting on the Indian School Road out-and-back as I was heading to mile 20… Which means he had just passed the halfway point? They invariably had to have a LONG day. 

@ Marathon Spectators – You made the race really fun. I enjoyed giving high fives to everyone who offered (especially the little kids). However, I did have an issue with a couple of your signs. Several of you had the “WORST. PARADE. EVER.” on cardboard. That joke was awesome… The first time I read such a sign in the Las Vegas Marathon… in 2009… Now it’s a little played out – let’s modify some other Simpsons reference shall we. Same goes for everyone who had a variation of “There are Zombies behind you! – Run Faster!” Again, the enthusiasm was appreciated but the JOKE IS PLAYED OUT. (And frankly some Zombies on the first part of the course would have been a nice change of sight to the drudgery that is downtown Phoenix). 

@ The Volunteers. THANK. YOU. Not only did you dole out supplies to thousands of runners but many of you gave me personal words of encouragement as I passed by. I did my best to thank all of you but just in case one of you gets to read this. THANK YOU.

@ The guys at mile 18 who were offering pretzels… YOU ARE GOD. OK, so you’re not actually God, but those pretzels were a God Send. Perfect timing. And when I say perfect timing I mean PERFECT TIMING. THANK YOU x 10^5.

@ The hill that appeared after mile 24… WHAT.

@ The guy who had I saw after mile 20 who was running with his butt half-exposed… WHAT. And why no effort to hike up your shorts a little. That’s an image that will stay in mind for some time.

@ Fate – Why is it that whenever I do a major long run (20+) the Dallas Cowboys lose or the New York Giants (which I HATE) win? After my very first marathon ever in 2008, my 13-3 Cowboys lose to the Giants at home. I run 20 miles on New Year’s Eve and the Cowboys lose to the Giants the next day – eliminating them from the playoffs. I run P.F. Chang’s marathon yesterday and the Giants WIN in the frozen Tundra against the 15-1 PACKERS? If what you are saying is that in order for the Giants to lose next week against the Niners that I should not run next weekend… YOU GOT IT!

@ The Race Organizers. Thank you for showing that such a large running event can be executed with relatively minor issues. “Competence! There was competence!” Those were the words that escaped my lips as I crossed the finish line… OK, not really, but man after all the issues in Vegas it felt awesome to run a well-run race (pun?). Frankly, the execution of this race should make the race organizers of Vegas feel more ashamed of the debacle they orchestrated. 

@ The food after the race. – You were awesome! Especially the frozen yogurt. Anyone close to me knows I LOVE FROZEN YOGURT and the ability to have MOJO after the race was heaven juice.

@ Team Intel participants. It was awesome to see you on the race course and the starting line! I fist bumped many of you. 

@ Those who did the Tough Mudder yesterday… I would love to hear from you, too. How did your race go? 

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,900 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 32 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Oh no! Not that Emmitt Smith. The former Dallas Cowboys superstar running back is fine. FINE. No, I’m referring to the deceased cat I encountered on my course this morning as I was running my final long run of this marathon training session.

I noticed the towel first. Which is unsurprising considering that I frickin’ LOVE towels. I collect towels. I don’t even know how many towels I have but I LOVE towels. Wait, I already said that. Oh hell, I’ll say it again. I LOVE towels. Heck, I’m staring at one of my favorite towels now… An orange and yellow towel from The Beatles Love show in Vegas. Love towels.

Anyway, I saw the towel. It was pink and white. Because it was on the dirty ground, I had no thought of picking up the towel and adding it to my collection. (Or did I?) But then I saw what I thought was a piece of black fabric protruding from it. I thought it might be a tail of some sort, but I hoped it was a shoe. A ragged old, tail-like shoe. Of course, I was running so fast at a breakneck speed that I didn’t have time  to examine it closely.

Cut to a few miles later when I am at the same spot in the course and I see it. The tail is clearly a tail and the lifeless head poking out from the other end of the towel.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

I swear to ceiling cat that I actually said that admonition out loud. What a macabre sight to have on my last long run. Obviously, someone had seen the kitty and placed the towel over it to preserve some sort of dignity. (They didn’t go all the way and dispose of it however… Which is understandable).  I decided to give the kitty a name to remember him or her by. I tend to do this. I once ran over a stray kitty as I was making the Val Vista exit. I then named the kitty Val Vista… Morbid? Maybe. But I was acknowledging the cat’s existence.

So anyway, I needed a name for kitty and as I continued to run I struggled with this task. Then after a certain while it occurred to me – I was running twenty-two miles. Twenty-two was the number of Emmitt Smith. I’ll name the poor kitty Emmitt Smith.

Just like the dead birds I keep complaining about, it remains to be seen whether I (I as in me) will do anything about the kitty. I should be running next week (but at a much reduced distance) so we will see if Emmitt is still there.

Other than dead animals materializing out of nowhere, this run was pretty good! And dare I say… My best 22-mile run ever? It was certainly my fastest with my average mile being under 10 minutes-per-mile which is NOT what I intended to do but it ended up happening. I was just thankful that I was able to run at all considering all reports said to expect rain today. That will probably still happen (I’m feeling some drops reach my hand as I type this post in the park), but I’m OK with rain and even thunder as long as I’m not caught in the middle of it.

Now, if it had rained I would have been prepared for it. I brought my hoodie just in case and I would have ran in it if the rain had decided to come down. It was mostly cloudy when I ran and the weather was basically as good as it could be. There were definitely some shaky moments. But at a certain point (a little past the 16-mile mark) MAN! – I definitely got a second wind that I was able to “ride” until the end.

Frankly, this is just what the doctor ordered. I took last week off. Last week also happened to be the date of the New York City marathon. And for some reason, that Sunday felt like marathon day for me, even though I was nowhere near the big apple. But it felt and smelt – yes, smelt – like marathon day for me and I got nerves! But now that I am finished with the long run phase of my training – and because it went pretty well overall – I can gain some confidence in the few weeks before the Las Vegas Marathon commences.

I was going to write a lot more about the people I met and other things that I saw during the run. But the tragedy of E. Smith and the goodnicity (not a word but just roll with it) of the rest of the run (relatively) basically overwhelmed anything else. I haven’t actually rated one of these superhero runs in a while but what the hell. Even with the consideration of the dead cat I will award this run a 10 out of 10 (10/10) and the long run portion of my marathon training as a whole a 9 out of 10 (9/10).

This final long run was brought to you by The Dark Knight… Batman! I’ll be honest in that I struggled to pick which superhero would be my mascot for the last long run. For a long time I assumed it would be Superman, but a couple of weeks ago I changed it to The Caped Crusader. I love both heroes, but I might give the slight edge to Batman. Why? Well, Batman – beneath the layers of the awesome gadgets, utility belt, Bat Mobile, Bat cave, the cap and the cowl – is just a dude. Admittedly, he’s a dude who just happens to be a billionaire and had access to incredible training – but he’s a mere mortal. Superman, for all intents and purposes, is a member of a race of what humans would consider gods. Batman, as a metaphor, applies loosely to the prospect of a marathon. Any human running 26.22 miles in any context is an awesome feat. And just like Batman, it proves that ordinary people can do extraordinary things.

P.S. If you want to start on a Batman graphic novel, I recommend The Dark Knight Returns (in which Superman gets his ass kicked by The Caped Crusader) and Batman: Hush.

10 Running Hazards to Avoid:

1. Plants. Ugh. I hate plants. Tell me. Other than providing us with the air we breathe, the food that we eat and the beauty of the natural world, can  you tell me one good things plants do? No. In addition, I am constantly having to dodge around fall tree branches or overhanging limbs or a petulant bush or something. This 21-miler was no different as I was having to dodge around those green things.

2. Dead animals. So, there have been these dead pigeons on some of the sidewalk I use for my course. They’ve been there for as long as I remember and no one has done anything about them. I think I blogged about this earlier and how I couldn’t touch them because those would sully my beautiful hands… Well, the problem has increased. With more dead birds littered along my route. I know that Halloween is in a couple of days but sheesh! This is redonkulous! Even a dead field mouse has joined the club. I wish these “varmints” would have the courtesy to not die on my running route as not to spoil my beautiful mind!

3. Non-Running people: OK, I don’t understand these people who don’t understand that sidewalks in general are used for people who are travelling. I’ve mentioned the soccer league that plays in the same park I run at and I’m fine with them. But so many of the kids – and even the parents just lollygag as if the sidewalk were the freakin’ Louvre. The result is I’m having to dodge these slowpokes instead of running straight as I should be. I’ll repeat: SIDEWALKS ARE FOR MOVING. YOU DO NOT PLACE YOUR LAWN CHAIRS THERE. YOU DON’T REGARD WORLD MASTERPIECES OF ART THERE. YOU DON’T LAY YOUR SLEEPING BAG THERE AND TAKE A NAP WITH YOUR IPAD WHILE PLAYING YOUR PLAYSTATION VITA (WHAT). SIDEWALKS. ARE. FOR. MOVING.

4. Other Runners: This is tricky because usually other runners should be seen as an asset but in the wrong circumstance they can be distracting. FOR EXAMPLE, in this run I saw two other shirtless runners. My first thought was that they’re stealing my shtick! My second thought was that they have terrible running form! My third thought was that actually their running form isn’t that bad. My fourth thought was I wonder how far they’re going. My fifth thought was that I was so distracted by these runners that I tripped and fell into the park’s lake and drowned and came back as a ghost… April Fool’s! No, wait. Happy Halloween! OK, so maybe the fifth thought didn’t happen. But don’t spend too much of your time looking at other runners’ form. Unless…

5. Cars: And this could go either way. For example, during this run there was an instance when a truck clearly had the green light and the right of way to turn left. But he or she wasn’t going anywhere. I must assume that they were staring at my glistening running form and were thus distracted. But I muttered under my breath, “Will you please fucking turn?!” (Which they finally did). I on the other hand never jay-walked (something the shirtless runners did, boooo!) and always paid attention when crossing the street.

6. Apoplectic rage: OK, we’re moving into more mercurial territory with this list. But what I mean by this is the incident that happened during the run where my GPS died. I won’t even present you with a Choose Your Own Adventure type decision. Yes, I know that I would replace it after my long run last week. But this tricky/ugly device fooled me. It worked perfectly fine on Tuesday and Wednesday… But this morning decided to conk out. The result? I know I ran 21 miles but other than I have no data. I don’t know how fast I did it, what pace, etc. Normally this would really set me on edge. But as you know I am trying to approach this marathon with a more relaxed attitude… Although I think I might smash this old, malfunctioning unit and place it on YouTube.

7. Sweat/Salt: I’m sure I spent half this run squinting. I had a major issue with my own sweat entering my eye. And because I spill salt as if I were that Morton girl (you know, the one with the umbrella?) the pain in my eye was extra tangy. even as I write this on a park picnic table, salt is still spilling into my eye. If there were a market for human-produced sodium as a delicacy I could make a killing… Maybe in Florida.

8. Blowback: This can refer to a variety of things that boomerang on you. Maybe a snot rocket or something. In my case, it was some GU gel that I squeezed out too quickly and somehow ended making a big mess on my hands.

9: The Sun: She’s a cruel mistress: providing us with heat, light and energy. At the same time, she provides us with too much heat, light and energy. It’s becoming more temperate out so I’m not as annoyed as I might usually be. But I’m resigned that this Arizona. You win, Sun. You medium star, you. YOU WIN.

10. The wanting to quit thing: So this run was seriously schizophrenic. The first nine or so miles were fine if not outright good. The next three miles were much less so – my left leg felt overly heavy for some reason. The next six miles after that were a mixed-bag with the bag leaning heavily toward the ungood side. I’m not sure what was happening as I hadn’t changed anything extreme. Meanwhile the last three miles were… surprisingly fantastic. I was in a bit of discomfort but I felt as though I could still go on several miles when I finished. Which is a good thing because during the race I would still have over 5 miles to go. I think some of my second wind is the fault of the awesome playlist I built – if I do say so myself. The right music can definitely lessen the pain.

This list was brought to you by Superman – the most powerful hero of all time. (But not recently at the box office). We’ll see if the movie next year can revive interest in the Man of Steel. But couple this with Smallville finally ending and I am somewhat suffering through Superman withdrawal. My favorite Superman storyline involves the villain Doomsday – who’s collection I still need to finish. To my comic library I go!

I always find twenty-miles to be a seminal run. One is a practical reason. when it comes to marathon training these are the two minimum distance/frequency combinations that tell me I’m qualified for running an actual 26.2-mile marathon. (As opposed to a virtual 44.5 marathon):

1) Run 18 miles 3 times. OR:

2) Run 20 miles 2 times.

Strange thing is that I do not even remember where I heard/learned this advice. I think it was from a veteran runner who used to work at Intel… But in any case, if does feel right. Obviously, with the way I do my long runs – increasing each one by a mile each week – I meet the first criterion when I perform 20-miles (and the second one is met normally when I do 21-miles). So now that I have completed the magical 20 I *should* at this point be able to do a marathon. Perhaps not optimally, but I could finish. Should. The problem is that my cramps have returned after a long and welcome absence. Somewhat. It’s nothing that I couldn’t pull through. I think I need more salt in my diet. yes, I know that you have never heard me say that before but I think it is true.

Yo, check this out. There’s part of my routine that I do not think that I have blogged about yet. But every Thor’s day evening I have Chipotle for din din (what the Portuguese would call “supper”). I love their sodium-soaked burritos and especially their salty tortilla chips – especially when the chips have extra salt! Sodium galore! Every time I get the chips I finish them over the next two days and ensure that all the salt is consumed. Is it coincidence that I did this for many weeks and successfully avoided crampage? Considering that this was a week when I DID NOT finish the Thursday Chipotle chips (indeed,  most of them remain) and that I did experience more cramping than usual… I would say NO.

What is interesting is that I was still able to meet my time target despite the cramping (or perhaps because of it?).

I know this because I have the data from my GPS Garmin watch… Which is clearly now dying. *Frowny face emoticon* Remember a couple of runs ago when I could not turn it on normally and had to reset it? Well, after this one, I was measuring my cool down run when I looked down and it was off. Combine this with the discovery that the unit was having a hell of a time charging on its cradle and I think this little GPS is on its last legs. BUT. This is the worst possible time. I still have two long runs and a race that I need it for. Even though I don’t really have money set aside for a new toy, I guess I will have to get a new Garmin mathingy and put it on charge. It’s not something that I want to do – and there’s a possibility that the issues I am having with this unit can be solved with a hard reset – but I don’t want to take that chance.

Damn it.

A funny*** story to end this portion of the blog post. I’m doing my cool down walk back to my car. A guy with a cap (I hope this ultra specific description doesn’t get him recognized by someone) calls out to me: “You’re still running?”Oh boy, I’ve heard that question before. Dude mentions that he saw me running since 8 AM which sounds about right. I told him my distance was 20-miles (explaining why it took so long, it was nearing noon when this exchange took place). His wife(?) asked which mile I was on, which I found to be a strange query since I was walking. And not a casual-I’m-strolling-to-the-local-cinema-to-see-Paranormal Activity 3 walk. But a I’m-struggling-to-stay-upright-cause-I’m-in-such-pain walk. You see the way the zombies shuffle in AMCs show about the undead? Well that’s me. As Rick Grimes from the famous comic might say: I am the Walking Dead. What.

But they said “good job” or something similar as I was walking away from them. I couldn’t hear them exactly because I was listening to a Johnjay and Rich podcast and I just wanted to desperately get to my Coca-Cola Cherry Zero.

Only two runs (and a possible 10K race) until taper time.

This run was brought to you by Spiderman – perhaps Marvel’s most famous asset. I like this character because the alter ego – Peter Parker – is a man of science. The first movie, by the way, is pretty good. The second movie is one of the best superhero movies of all time. The third… Oh my. Maybe it’s worth seeing once, but fans realize that a reboot – coming out next year – is justified.

Spiderman also has a really good rogue’s gallery… Doc Oc. Mysterio. Both goblins. And, of course, Venom and Carnage. But the villains I should probably save until next year.

END!

*Actually 19th place..

**Just double-checked, yes 19th place.

***Perhaps not so funny.

1. Fueling correctly before a run is important.

2. It’s autumn and more people are running.

3. New Shoes are a blessing and curse and a blessing and a curse (and a blessing).

4. Dead birds on the sidewalk are unsightly (but you get used to them).

5. Salt. Salt. Salt.

Would you like details? Read on:

1. The night before this 19-miler I ate a whole bunch of frozen yogurt… and that’s it. I meant to carbo load. In fact, I had prepared some delicious beef stroganoff a few nights prior. But I had some kinks in my Friday schedule and as a result I found myself falling asleep to some DVRed Supernatural without having my supper (I took a little beef stroganoff when I woke up on my own at 4:30 in the morning).

2. It’s autumn, the temps are cooler and I see more people on my runs. This is fine and good, but man some people are just straight up weird.

A. I encountered a man wearing normal clothes – i.e. non-workout gear who as jogging… WHAT. If you’re gonna jog why not change into the correct attire?

B. A few seconds later I encountered a young girl with a really weird running form – her hands were down and loose by her sides as she “ran” who was wearing a bright red backpack. Not a Camelback mind you – just a regular backpack… WHAT.

Can you freaks please run normally as to not spoil my beautiful concentration while training?

3. I don’t know how it happens but I always seem to change my shoes around the time I reach 19 miles. In this case, it was really necessary because my old shoes were not just cutting it. Still, there definitely is a break-in period and this 19-mile run was only the second time I had run with these shoes so there was definitely some adjustment issues (it would have been three times but mother nature decided to affront my slamming a thunderstorm directly on my head. Yes, me. I am convinced that mother nature was directly targeting me with the thunderstorm that affected the entire Valley of the Sun (along with the haboob that proceeded it).

Quick quiz, before moving onto point #4… How many miles was this run?… I don’t think I’ve mentioned that yet.

4. There are these dead birds I encounter on my long runs that have been in the same spot for months. Someone should really do something about them. I know what you might be thinking… Why not dispose of them yourself?… Are you crazy? I could possibly soil and/or tarnish my beautiful hands! OK, you might say, why not contact the City of Gilbert to take care of it. All you would be touching is your phone… Use a telephone? Are you crazy? I could possibly soil and/or tarnish my beautiful hands!

5. Speaking of my beautiful body parts, as I compose this blog my person is basically soaked with salt. I know I’ve complained about this before but this is really egregious. And for the first time, I could feel several cramps coming on (but none of them ever fully materialized) and I know this at least had something to do with item #1. In a way, this should make me glad. This definitely gives me an excuse to increase my salt intake. I know what you might say, Shouldn’t I consult a doctor first? To which I reply, Doctors? What do they know? (Except a large base of medical knowledge some of which could contribute to my particular situation).

WHAT.

This long run was brought to you by Captain America aka Steve Rogers aka Bucky Barnes… I thought the Chris Evans 2011 movie was awesome and the comics are fun to read as well. My favorite Cap villains are the watchmen… A right-wing militia that frankly remind my of members of a certain political party. But this blog isn’t supposed trespass into those type of topics so I will just leave with a recommendation to either get the movie when it’s available on video and/or read some of the comics.

Hold down the Mode and Lap/Reset buttons simultaneously for six seconds. Then press the power button.

Why do I mention this Oh, just because.

Actually what happened is that I woke up on time and things were going relatively smoothly until I reached the park and I… parked. At the park. Anyway, I noticed that I had forgotten my cell phone. Now this in and of itself was not that big a deal – yes, I would not be able to check into Foursquare (which is actually pretty big for me) and I would not be able to upload my blog post right away after I wrote it at the park since I use the phone to tether to my netbook… But I didn’t need it for the run. I had my Zune, I had my gels, I had my Garmin… I was set.

I turned the Garmin on.

Nothing.

I pressed the power button again.

Blank.

I pressed the power button and held on for dear life.

IT’S NOT DOING ANYTHING!

OK, panic time – I really need that watch to know how far I’ve gone and at what speed. I need to review the data after the run and see how many calories I’ve burned. If you recall, I’ve actually experienced this exact situation before.  And I knew there was a button combination that one could invoke to attempt a reset of the device. But I had forgotten it. No problem, I could just Google it on the HTC Thunderbolt… The phone I had forgot.

Fudge.

My house is actually not too far from the park I run at – in fact, it’s technically in walking distance. My dilemma though was the soccer hooligans. SOCCER HOOLIGANS.

These hooligans are short and wear soccer uniforms. They attend early grade school and are accompanied by their parents as they battle fiercely in their respective leagues on Saturday mornings… HOOLIGANS. OK, maybe they’re not hooligans, per se. Maybe they’re cute kids who are learning team ship, hard work and the benefits of exercise. But the point is that they park. They park A LOT. And if I don’t get to the park early enough in time, it can be very difficult to find a spot. This is especially important for me because I use my car as my pit stop – switching out bottles and grabbing napkins when I reach it in my loop. So it needs to be strategically positioned… Here I was with a  spot and several spots still open and I figured they would fill up quickly. It’s time for more Choose Your Own Adventure(registered trademark). What would YOU do in this situation? What would you do?

A) You’re already at the park and since you’ve run the self-designed loop DOZENS and DOZENS of times, you know approximately what 18 miles will be. You might time yourself with your handy Zune so you can get an approximate timing of yourself.

B) Head back home and get BOTH your cell phone and try to revive the dead Garmin by putting it on its dock.

C) Say screw the entire thing and head to McDonalds or perhaps Jack in the Box for their new breakfast platters. After your done eating you stay at the restaurant and put a pair of headphones on. You listen to all your old Celine Dion albums until you pass out in the restaurant seat. WHAT.

D) 42

OK, so I did B. I was in such a rush when I left my car engine running as I burst through the garage door, kicked my cat (accidentally), gathered my phone, put the Garmin in the dock (nothing happened), removed the Garmin from the dock, kicked my cat again (stop getting in the way, dumb feline!) and headed back to my waiting car and throttled it (within the speed limit) back to the park.

Turns out I had nothing to worry about as the spot I wanted was still available. I parked and Googled the solution that starts this blog post. I was SO FREAKING RELIEVED when my Garmin turned on. And as it turns out, all the spots in the park’s parking lot never filled up today as they usually do… Instead, as I was running I noticed that some parents had parked illegally so they could be closer to the fields that had their kids’ games. STUPID, LAZY WHORES. Here I am running for 3+ hours/18 miles and their parking in the red zone so they can save 1.5 minutes of walking for a SOCCER GAME. Sorry, I just had to get that out.

As for the actual run? (I guess I should talk about that since this is ostensibly a running blog, although I think I might start incorporating movie reviews just to spice thins up a bit *smiley face emoticon*). Frankly, it was pretty much perfect. AWESOME weather. Cloud cover and plenty of breezes.Yes, there were definitely rough spots as there is WONT to be. But damn, the first official fall run in my marathon training 2011 could not have been much better frankly. If I could hug and kiss September 24, 2011 I would (along with some other things *winking face*).

I’m actually going to RATE this RUN: A perfect 10.

This run was brought to you by Wolverine of X-men fame.. If you don’t know who Wolverine is… WHAT. If you need a crash course watch ALL the X-men movies in the correct order. Then watch Wolverine (an underrated superhero film if there ever was on). X-Men first class is not necessary although Wolvy(?) does make a cameo there as well. Can I just say I love Hugh Jackman? I mean, I love Hugh Jackman. Huge mancrush going on here. He’s PERFECT for the park of wolverine.

17-mile runs, for some reason, have always been tricky for me. Two years ago I had severe bathroom issues. And then last year, I forgot my GU gels. But it was as if fate wanted me to get this out of the way by forgetting my GU gels last week. To be honest with you, I was this close to forgetting my gels again, but I remembered them at the last second.

I would need them. My energy was good for most of the run but there was a time around miles 10 and 11 when I could really feel my energy lagging. But at a certain point, it seemed to really pick up again and I was able to continue on with very little issue afterward.

And that’s the thing, there were basically no real issues with this run. I ACTUALLY GOT UP “ON TIME” AND ARRIVED AT THE PARK RELATIVELY EARLY. As if to reward me for this, mother nature gave me a morning that was stuffed with fine and refreshing breezes. How useful these are cannot be overestimated. Having a regular breeze – even when it’s going against you, can really help you cool off your body and give an energy boost. I really need more mornings like this. As an enticement to the Windtalkers (either people who can command the wind or Native Americans who helped win WWII) I have written the celebratory poem!

TITLE: BREEZE… FREEZE!

BY: Collins Ezeanyim.

He said, “BREEZE!”

The Breeze said, “YES?”

He said, BREEZE… “FREEZE!”

The Breeze said: “What?”

He sang, “Do not go anywhere! Stay right there! Stay right there! If you care – stay right there!”

The breeze said, “But this is not my lair.”

He said, “Stay right there! Stay right there!”

“But this is not my lair!”

“Liar”

“Fire!”

“Lift me higher! Put out the fire! Stay right there! Stay right there!”

The Breeze said, “Because you ask… I will perform this task.”

He said, “Breeze Freeze… Thank you and please.”

“Please.”

WOW. These poems are getting absolutely delicious. This was a good run. I’d probably give it a 9 or 10. If I have similar luck during my 18-mile run I’ll be in business… not literally, of course… Unless…

This run was brought to you by Spawn… Neither a DC nor Marvel universe hero but rather Image Comics and writer Todd McFarlane. Like many, I became aware of the character through the 1997 movie. And the most memorable thing about that film (other than the fact that Hollywood was making a serious film about a black superhero for maybe the first time in forever) was John Leguizamo’s performance as Clown/The Violator. Count me as one of those people who find Clown’s disturbing.

I should note that the reason why my morning before the run was so harried was because I WAS ON-CALL and also I WAS PAGED in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. This led to a DISRUPTION IN MY SLEEP PATTERN.

In addition, I also had to carry the pager/phone with me while I ran – which was fine AS LONG AS I DIDN’T GET PAGED. But guess what happened around mile six?

OK, time to play a game of Choose Your Own Adventure: What would YOU do in this situation:

A) Accept your fate and answer the page and accept that your run would end prematurely.

B) Open your netbook and type a blog post where words and phrases were RANDOMLY CAPATALIZED.

C) Chuck the pager/phone angrily somewhere and hope it breaks into 3003 pieces and to hell with the consequences!.

D) Utter an expletive quite loudly so that about a dozen parents and their small children can hear it.

I, of course, did… D. I didn’t mean to, but them’s just the breaks folks. Luckily I was near my vehicle when this happened so I could stop there and respond to the page. I promised the customer I would look into the issue and then I… continued my run. This was a judgment call on my part. I knew the issue wasn’t urgent but I would be hella annoyed if I had to quit my run now. It’s like I always say – I only want to stop a run if I end up with bloody stumps for lugs. And even in that situation I still want to drag myself across the finish line. So I guess in order to really stop I would need bloody stumps for legs and bloody stumps for arms as well. WHAT.

So I finished, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I ran with a little more urgency and alacrity due to my need to get home and fix the issue. Another thing that really helped me along was the playlist I had generated for this run. In celebration of Wonder Woman, this was a playlist that featured FEMALE-ORIENTED BANDS AND ARTISTS. Britney. Pink. Nelly Furtado. Vanessa Hudgens. Madonna. Garbage. Hell, even Christina A. made the list. I may post a Spotify playlist later. *Grins*

This run was brought to you by Wonder Woman. Who, for whatever reason, CANNOT make it to the BIG or SMALL screen. There was a Wonder Woman pilot slated for this year but it was canned by NBC. And a WW movie has been in the works for years – at one point awesome sauce producer Joss Whedon was attached to it – but it’s been a no go as well. The Lasso, the invisible plane, the other stuff… Will we ever see this undervalued franchise make it into bigger media?